Huffington Post logo Huffington Post 3 weeks ago

Andy Borowitz: Goldman Sachs Not Doing "God's Work," Says Satan

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Goldman Sachs' Chief Executive Lloyd Blankfein's comment that bankers are doing "God's work" came under fire today from one of the longest-standing allies of the firm, Satan, the Prince of Darkness. Full Article at Huffington Post

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  1. "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are." Full Article at Huffington Post

  2. The only thing worse than Goldman Sachs amassing close to $20 billion in bonus money for its executives based on various government subsidies and bailout measures is listening to senior executives there trying to explain it all away. Full Article at Huffington Post

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  1. A volunteer who would not give her name, serves Thanksgiving dinner at Salvation Army in New York Thursday Nov. 26, 2009.
  2. WASHINGTON - NOVEMBER 16:  Activists protest in front of the DC office of Goldman Sachs November 16, 2009 in Washington, DC.
  3. LONDON, ENGLAND - OCTOBER 15:  Goldman Sachs building in Paternoster Square is bathed in Autumnal sunshine on October 15, 2009 in London, England. Investment Bankers Goldman Sachs have announced quarterly profits of £1.96 billion.
  4. ISTANBUL, TURKEY - OCTOBER 3:  In this handout image supplied by the IMF, the BBC's Nik Gowing hosts a live 'Special World Debate' with panelists Economic Historian Niall Ferguson, French Finance Minister Christine Lagarde, Goldman Sachs Jim O'Neill, International Monetary Fund's Managing Directo...
  5. NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 23:  Lloyd Blankfein, Chairman and CEO of The Goldman Sachs Group, participates in a panel on September 23, 2009 at the Clinton Global Initiative (CGI) in New York, New York.
  6. Lloyd Blankfein, Chairman and CEO of Goldman Sachs, participates in a panel discussion at the Clinton Global Initiative in New York in this file image from September 23, 2009.
  7. NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 23: Diane Sawyer (L) moderates a panel including Lloyd Blankfein, Chairman and CEO of The Goldman Sachs Group and Rex. Tillerson Chairman and CEO of ExxonMobil on September 23, 2009 at the Clinton Global Initiative (CGI) in New York, New York.
  8. Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein (L), American Express CEO Ken Chenault (C) and Bank of America CEO Ken Lewis arrive at the White House in Washington on March 27, 2009 for a meeting of the heads of the country's largest banks with US President Barack Obama.
  9. John Mack (2nd R), CEO of Morgan Stanley, testifies alongside Robert Kelly (L), CEO of Bank of New York; on the use of Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP) funds before the House Financial Services Committee at the US Capitol in Washington, DC, February 11, 2009.

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