He calls the Dodger Crips "a bunch of Porsche-driving, starlet-chasing, cocaine-sniffing, surfboard-waxing, Armani-wearing, spritzer-drinking, sunshine-soaking, tofu-eating, leg-hair-waxing, sunglasses-wearing weinies [sic]" at which point the column suddenly becomes a bizarre mashup of Boyz n the Hood, Less Than Zero and Gidget.
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