1. QUOTE from:
    Live Review: Michael McIntyre
    View quote in context »
    Last year I just wrote 'I still love you, see last year's card for full details'." "My wife and I both made a list of five people we could sleep with. She read hers out: 1. George Clooney, 2. Brad Pitt, 3. Justin Timberlake, 4. Jake Gyllenhaal, 5. Johnny Depp. I thought 'I've got the better deal here: 1. 'Your sister'." "Hasn't Barack Obama done well with a name like that. Full Article at GQ Magazine
    My wife and I both made a list of five people we could sleep with. She read hers out: 1. George Clooney, 2. Brad Pitt, 3. Justin Timberlake, 4. Jake Gyllenhaal, 5. Johnny Depp. I thought 'I've got the better deal here: 1. 'Your sister'.
    SOURCE: GQ Magazine 1 month ago
All quotes from:
Live Review: Michael McIntyre
  1. I bought my wife a beautiful diamond ring and I even had it engraved - with the price.
    SOURCE: GQ Magazine 1 month ago
  2. I'm glad Carol Vorderman has left Countdown. I mean, it's not like she did much. She was effectively just an autistic shelf-stacker.
    SOURCE: GQ Magazine 1 month ago
  3. I was in Starbucks and the person in front of me said: 'Can I have a tall, skinny, black Americano please?' I said: 'Are you ordering coffee or an American president?' Don't Man City and Man United sound a bit like gay clubs? 'Where you off to tonight? Man City? We're off to Man United. And a bit later ...
    SOURCE: GQ Magazine 1 month ago
  4. A Geordie said to me: 'Are yous looking at us?' How many mistakes can you make in one sentence?
    SOURCE: GQ Magazine 1 month ago
  5. Hasn't Barack Obama done well with a name like that. Barack sounds like Iraq, Hussein is Saddam's surname an Obama sounds like Osama. Young Black British men are saying: 'Maybe I could do it, maybe I could become Prime Minister. What do you think?' 'I'm not so sure, Adolf Mugabe Fritzl'.
    SOURCE: GQ Magazine 1 month ago
  6. You have to come up with this shit every year on Valentines Day. Last year I just wrote 'I still love you, see last year's card for full details'.
    SOURCE: GQ Magazine 1 month ago

Recent Photos From The Wire

  1. Manchester United's Patrice Evra, bottom, fights for the ball against Wolverhampton Wanderers' Kevin Foley during their English Premier League soccer match at Old Trafford Stadium, Manchester, England, Tuesday Dec. 15, 2009. 20 7864 9121 or EMAIL info@football-dataco.com FOR DETAILS.
  2. Britain's Prime Minister Gordon Brown gives a short TV interview as he arrives for meeting with Australia's Prime Minister Kevin Rudd (not pictured) at a hotel beside the United Nations Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen December 15, 2009.
  3. Manchester United's Wayne Rooney scores a penalty against Wolverhampton Wanderers with Ritchie De Laet during their English Premier League soccer match at Old Trafford in Manchester, northern England, December 15, 2009.
  4. U.S. President Barack Obama (C) leaves after a statement on his meeting with Democratic Senators about health care legislation in the Roosevelt Room at the White House in Washington December 15, 2009. Obama made a strong push for passage of healthcare reform legislation on Tuesday, saying a bill before the Senate met all of his criteria and would save the country money. Also pictured are Senators Tom Harkin (D-IA) (L) and Christopher Dodd (D-CT).
  5. Manchester United's Wayne Rooney (C) celebrates his goal against Wolverhampton Wanderers with Ritchie De Laet during their English Premier League soccer match at Old Trafford in Manchester, northern England, December 15, 2009.
  6. The sign leading to the Covenant Apostolic Church, is shown in Springfield Township, Ohio Tuesday Dec. 15, 2009. Police confirmed they are investigating allegations workers at the church daycare gave children a dietary supplement to help them sleep.
  7. Manchester United's Wayne Rooney, left, reacts alongside fellow team member Patrice Evra, right, after scoring a penalty against Wolverhampton Wanderers during their English Premier League soccer match at Old Trafford Stadium, Manchester, England, Tuesday, Dec. 15, 2009. 20 7864 9121 or EMAIL info@football-dataco.com FOR DETAILS.
  8. Men walk along a street decorated for the upcoming New Year with the Central mosque in the background in downtown Grozny December 15, 2009.
  9. U.S. President Barack Obama (C) makes remarks on his meeting with Democratic Senators about health care legislation in the Roosevelt Room at the White House in Washington December 15, 2009. Obama made a strong push for passage of healthcare reform legislation on Tuesday, saying a bill before the Senate met all of his criteria and would save the country money. From L-R: Senators Tom Harkin (D-IA), Christopher Dodd (D-CT), Max Baucus (D-MT), Obama, Harry Reid (D-NV), and Dick Durbin (D-IL).
  10. The Covenant Apostolic Church, is shown in Springfield Township, Ohio Tuesday Dec. 15, 2009. Police confirmed they are investigating allegations workers at the church daycare gave children a dietary supplement to help them sleep.
  11. The Covenant Apostolic Church, is shown in Springfield Township, Ohio Tuesday Dec. 15, 2009. Police confirmed they are investigating allegations workers at the church daycare gave children a dietary supplement to help them sleep.
  12. Manchester United's Wayne Rooney, second from left, is thwarted by Wolverhampton Wanderers' goalkeeper Marcus Hahnemann, left, during their English Premier League soccer match at Old Trafford Stadium, Manchester, England, Tuesday Dec. 15, 2009. 20 7864 9121 or EMAIL info@football-dataco.com FOR DETAILS.
  13. NEW YORK - DECEMBER 15: TV Personality Simon Van Kempen attends the unveiling of PETA 'Fur? I'd Rather Go Naked' billboard in Times Square on December 15, 2009 in New York City.
  14. NEW YORK - DECEMBER 15: Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel unveils her PETA 'Fur? I'd Rather Go Naked' billboard in Times Square on December 15, 2009 in New York City.
  15. NEW YORK - DECEMBER 15: Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel unveils her PETA 'Fur? I'd Rather Go Naked' billboard in Times Square on December 15, 2009 in New York City.
  16. NEW YORK - DECEMBER 15: Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel unveils her PETA 'Fur? I'd Rather Go Naked' billboard in Times Square on December 15, 2009 in New York City.
  17. WASHINGTON - DECEMBER 15: U.S. Secretary of the Treasury Timothy Geithner (L) speaks as Secretary of Education Arne Duncan (R) listens during an event to announce a partnership to promote financial education among the nation�s youth December 15, 2009 at the Department of the Treasury in Washington, DC. The Treasury and Education Department are teaming up to bring financial education to classrooms across the country.
  18. WASHINGTON - DECEMBER 15: U.S. Secretary of the Treasury Timothy Geithner (C) speaks as Secretary of Education Arne Duncan (R), and Financial Industry Regulatory Authority CEO Richard Ketchum (L) listen during an event to announce a partnership to promote financial education among the nation�s youth December 15, 2009 at the Department of the Treasury in Washington, DC. The Treasury and Education Department are teaming up to bring financial education to classrooms across the country.