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The company's new directive may explain its recent acquisition of Celera Genomics, the company that mapped the human genome, and its buildup of a vast army of laser-equipped robots. "Google finally has what it needs to catalog the DNA of every organism on Earth" said analyst Imran Kahn of J.P. Morgan Chase. Full Article at The Onion
Google finally has what it needs to catalog the DNA of every organism on Earth
SOURCE: The Onion
All quotes from:
Google Announces Plan To Destroy All Information It Can't Index
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And thanks to Google Purge, anything our global microphone network can't pick up will be silenced by noise-cancellation machines in low-Earth orbit.
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Don't be evil, unless it's necessary for the greater good.
SOURCE: The Onion -
Of course, some people might not want their DNA indexed. Hence, the robot army. It's crazy, it's brilliant—typical Google.
SOURCE: The Onion -
Book burning is just the beginning ... This fall, we'll unveil Google Sound, which will record and index all the noise on Earth. Is your baby sleeping soundly? Does your high-school sweetheart still talk about you? Google will have the answers.
SOURCE: The Onion -
A lot of companies are so worried about short-term reactions that they ignore the long view ... Not us. Our team is focused on something more than just making money. At Google, we're using technology to make dreams come true.
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I certainly don't want to accuse of them having bad intentions. But this campaign of destruction and genocide raises some potential privacy concerns.
SOURCE: The Onion -
We believe that Google Desktop Search is the best way to unlock the information hidden on your hard drive ... If you haven't given it a try, now's the time. In one week, the deleting begins.
SOURCE: The Onion -
Our users want the world to be as simple, clean, and accessible as the Google home page itself
SOURCE: The Onion -
The scanning will be relatively painless. Hey, it's Google. It'll be fun to be scanned by a Googlebot. But in the event people resist, the robots are programmed to liquify the brain.
SOURCE: The Onion
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